I had planned to stay home from work today since I didn't sleep well last night and I wasn't feeling 100%. Cori texted me and let me know that a client of mine wanted to come in today and get her hair cut. I was going to just let Cori do it since the client was totally ok with that but something was pulling at my heart to go on in and do her. I ran into this client last week and something just seemed wrong with her. She told me should would fill me in during her next hair cut. So off I went, very concerned about the news I may find out about her.
I really just had a feeling that something was wrong watching her walk up the sidewalk to the shop. I could tell it was written all over her face that she wasn't herself. Normally this client is such a bubbly person and such a hoot to be around. She sat down in my chair after washing her hair and apologized for her hair being so much longer than usual but she thought that she may have to lose it. I knew then and there that we were dealing with the possibilities of the big C. No one ever wants to hear the word "cancer." As soon as we hear that ugly word it's like hearing a death sentence. This poor beautiful woman has had a rough few weeks since after Christmas with a lot of health problems and tests being run on her. As she began to tell me of all the pain that she has gone through with just the tests and the unknown she began to cry. I wanted to cry along with her but I knew that my job as a cosmetologist is to make men,women and children feel better than they did when they walked in there. I looked at her and said "please don't cry, I am so sorry that you are going through all of this but we are just going to take it one day at a time and think positive from here on out." She wiped her tears away and smiled and thanked me.
Inside I was a total wreck though. I wanted to cry out for all of the families that have lost loved ones to cancer including my own and all of the incredibly strong people out there fighting for their lives every single day with this terrible disease. Cori has a client battling the big C right now too and I have grown to look to her clients as my own family also. I hurt knowing what they are going through. I pray for them day in and day out that God will give them the strength to overcome horrible things.
Before she left she told me that if she indeed did have to do chemo then she would be shaving her head in the event that she begins to lose her hair. I told her that was not a problem and we will cross that hurdle if it arrives. I made her aware of Cori's client that recently had to do the same thing and how we understand that it is an emotional time for them and everyone there so if we have to do that then we will close the shop down for her appointment and it will just be her and I there along with Cori. She seemed to appreciate that small gesture. I don't think a lot of people really understand how hard it is to watch someone lose their hair. Being in this business and with the recent event of watching Cori's client go through it, it has taught me just how hard it is on a woman. Our hair is a part of our identity. It's a big part of what makes us feel feminine and beautiful. Losing that is just a complete soul crusher. It makes us question why does these terrible things have to happen to such great people? Why do they have to lose that part of them when the rest of their body and spirit is so weak? I don't understand it but what I do understand is that we aren't supposed to have the answers to everything. I watched my grandmother lose her hair. I remember being in the first grade and walking into her house where she was standing in the kitchen to find her in there cooking without any hair. I hid behind the kitchen counter and she asked me to come to her. I shook my head no and said "I'm scared of you." She cried and I have never forgotten that. I was just a child and had no idea how my words would cut through her like a knife but I was scared. I was scared of what was happening to her. I knew she was sick. I watched my grandfather give her shots and change her colostomy bags. I could lay in bed next to her while her bowels were emptied into a 5 gallon bucket and that didn't bother me but the fact that she lost her hair did. I will never ever forget that moment where my innocents hurt my grandmother so much.
Every time I see a woman that has had to lose her hair I think back to that moment as a child. I have only done this woman's hair 3 times now but she has become such a big part of me. I like to think of all of my clients as a part of our little Hair Haven family. I hurt when they hurt,I laugh when they laugh, I want to cry when they want to cry. If anyone out there is reading this, please pray for this woman along with Cori's client as they go through this horrific journey.
