I haven't posted in this blog for almost 3 years. I decided tonight that I will post more often if for nothing else than a way for me to release all of these thoughts in my head.
Noah is almost 4 years old now. He is such a joy and so smart. We feel so blessed to be his parents. He has quite the personality. It's time to give him a sibling though.
This year I found out that I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. It causes infertility. Infertility is something I never had to worry about before so this is all new to me. Along with the PCOS comes insulin resistance so I've had to change a lot in my life to try to get healthy. Keith and I were thinking about starting to conceive in another year or more but since it could take a while we decided to go ahead and remove the birth control now and get a head start. He is excited to "practice" getting pregnant. LOL.
On the other hand, I have tons of emotions running through my head. I'm excited,scared,worried you name it and I feel it 24/7. It's a lot for me to carry around with me. I feel like the success of bringing another baby into this family weighs totally on my shoulders. I have a higher risk of a miscarriage with this disease and that scares the crap out of me. I was so excited up until my appointment on Tuesday morning to get my birth control implant removed. I woke up that morning with butterflies in my stomach and worried. I wasn't worried about the procedure but the future rather. The unknown scares me to death and I keep telling myself to Let Go and Let God but that is easier said than done. I'm such a worry wart and I don't know how to fix that.
So, anyways that's pretty much the short story of what I'm going through right now. I'm hoping typing out my emotions and feeling will help me along the way on this journey. If you're reading out there I could use all the prayers and support I can get.
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